Time to Come Clean
by bettercrazythanboring
Summary: What I wish would happen after episode 10 - Mako explaining himself and not being a jerk about it. Asami deserves better. Takes place right after the end.


The quartet decided to spend the night in the tunnels and come up with a plan the next morning. Huddled on the various sides of Naga, they tried to forget the various dangers they'd experienced through the day and focused on getting a good night's sleep, for lately things had been so hectic there was no telling where the next day would take them.

Mako couldn't sleep, though, no matter how he tried. Visions – of a badass Asami, worried Korra, the OWL guard who told them to go, the face of the newborn, Bolin's expression when the parking tickets were burned – swam through his mind, making him unable to rest. Not to mention now that they actually had a moment to breathe, he couldn't help thinking about what Asami had said. About how if he waited too long, there would be no relationship to salvage.

Opening one eye, he glanced at where she was curled up in a ball a few yards from him. All he saw was her back, so he whispered to her, asking whether she was awake, and got a jolt and a sniff in response.

Guilt overcame him as he realized she was crying... more than likely in part due to him.

"Hey, look," he whispered, scooting closer to her and moving to a sitting position, "I still maintain that today was a bad time to discuss... us. And we have no idea what's gonna happen tomorrow, so maybe you'd be okay with doing that now?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Asami said, sitting upright too, not looking at her boyfriend. If he could still be called that.

"I want you to know I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for kissing Korra and I'm sorry I didn't tell you. And I'm sorry I acted like I did when you confronted me about it."

"If you're so sorry, then why did it ever happen? This had better not be an 'it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission' situation. Be honest. I think I deserve that much."

"It's not, really. I'm just... confused, all the time," he admitted, "Growing up, I was always taking care of Bolin; I didn't have time for girls or any kind of friends, actually. I know it doesn't excuse anything, but I just need you to know that this is completely new territory for me. When I first met you, I thought 'what have I done to get the attention of such an amazing, wonderful, beautiful, badass girl?' and I do still feel that way. The Korra thing... it took me by surprise. We were in the middle of the championship and there were heightened emotions everywhere and, yeah, we kissed. But it was one time and it nearly ripped our team apart," he hastily added, "I made my choice and I'm sticking by it. I do care about Korra; she's a good friend and a great Avatar in the making. But I'm with _you_ and _only_ you."

"So why didn't you tell me?" Asami asked, holding back tears.

"I didn't want to lose you," he answered simply, "I didn't know you well enough to know whether you'd value my honesty if I told you and since it was a onetime thing that ultimately didn't mean anything... I decided you didn't need to know. I guess I was wrong, huh?"

"You know, Mako, I've lost a lot in the last few weeks. My father, my home, my life, my hobbies and maybe my friends. I thought you'd be the one thing I could count on. A constant in the mess that is my life right now."

"Asami, I'm still that guy and I'm here for you. One kiss doesn't change that."

"No, it probably wouldn't have," she agreed and then finally looked him in the eye, "But our whole relationship is built on lies. I see the way you look at her; it's not the way you'd look at a good friend or a great Avatar. You have feelings for her, Mako, and the fact that you attempt to deny them hurts even worse. You shouldn't have to _choose_ me like a goddamn commitment chore."

"That's not what I-"

"This is not what I signed up for and it's not what I want," she cut him off.

"Asami, I..."

"Would you have told me, eventually? If I hadn't found out myself? If Bolin and Ikki didn't know about you and Korra's feelings for each other, would you have owned up? Tell me the truth."

Mako looked away to the ceiling and thought long and hard. At this point, honesty was the best policy, the only hope he had of saving this relationship. It was a good while before he finally spoke.

"No, I don't think so. I wouldn't have thought it important enough to risk what we had."

"Well, then you're a coward. I know Korra's a great girl, Mako. I know you knew her before you met me. I would have understood if you had just _told_ me. But I have no room in my life for liars. After what my father did to me, I'm sure you can understand that. Goodnight, Mako," she said sharply, turning away.

"Don't hate me, Asami. I did what I thought was best."

"I don't hate you. I just don't think this drama is what either of us needs right now. Or ever. Maybe in time we could even be friends. But I can't do this. I need to get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning," she said, getting up to settle in against Naga's backside and wiping away the remnants of her tears, wondering which was the point where her whole world started to shatter.

And Mako was left to spend a sleepless night calling himself an idiot and wishing he could blame anyone but himself for screwing up things with this amazing girl who was undoubtedly better than he could ever deserve. They both were.

If Bolin didn't need him, he would contemplate running away altogether. But this fight had only just begun and it was time to put emotions aside in order to win and maybe get back some semblance of a life. From before all these new people had entered his life and made him unable to depend on his own moral compass anymore.

By the time morning came, Mako had a plan, an execution and a speech prepared, all of which he relayed to his friends with an expression made of stone and a voice without tone. Drama was not part of the plan.


End file.
